Blogging, Tweeting = Vanity?

Vanity or reflection?
Do we want others to know about what we are doing and thinking?
Do we want to know what others are doing and thinking?
Have we lost what little precious time we have for true reflection in the process?
Is it the case that we want to "know" more but "understand" less?
Or can we actually "learn" from it all?

Fun and game

I have to keep reminding myself of the impermanence of fun and excitement.

You can become so dependent on feelings and pleasant sensation that you long for the next fun time. You join social clubs to do things you enjoy doing with like-minded people - you have fun - but at the other end, you suffer when the fun stops or when the reverse happens for whatever reason.

I am too immodest to try to pull myself away from the fun but I have to remind myself to be mindful, to understand things and happenings for what they really are and for how fleeting they can be, to not get carried away in the current of 'fun'. I think the degree of suffering will be equivalent to the fun you have when you let your mind drift through all emotions.

Should people refrain or just let them pass?

Calm before the storm

A couple of days ago, I really felt that things were going so well and I was suspicious of whether they would last - a case of calm before the storm or whether I actually understood 'things' and was able to let go.

Sadly it was the case of the former rather than the latter and now I am on square one again.

I broke yet again and could not see that all things are fleeting and we are all on our own.

Now with the unrest at home in Thailand, I feel such a shame I have been so self absorbed that the little things that I thought mattered to me do not seem to matter much today. And even the incidents that appear to matter to a lot of people are in fact trivial to a number of others. People get drifted in the current of what they believe in when, to the less fortunate, the more and most important thing to them is about surviving.

To understand

It is all so fleeting and impermanent. Yet most of us still keep chasing after pleasures and trying to fend off unpleasant feelings. Some less so subtly than others. They pleasant feelings are quite addictive but when they are gone, you come down hard too.

One needs to understand that they are all mental fabrication, be mindful of them and then try to disassociate from them.

To mature

I am trying to get into the rhythm of this maturing business now. I had only been aging for a long time, never maturing. There is an acute difference but I had not realised before. I had thought that you mature just as you age. How wrong was I!

Set-backs and opportunities

So much excitement lately that I suffer from disappointment when I am out of action. I shouldn't be though. There are plenty of opportunities to be gained when things turn another way. You only have to be a bit creative and proactive to see the opportunities. And I only say this to try and cheer myself up!

I broke

That was such an illusion. I thought I was doing well but not at all after yesterday. I am still my old messed up self. Unable to let go and completely lost my cool. Back to practicing!

It is unimportant

Good climb yesterday. I was less dissatisfied. With myself, with objects, with people. Not because people or things were different but because I see things slightly more clearly.

A lot of things are unimportant. When you concentrate on the present moment, time stands still and nothing else is important other than the minute, the second ticking away in front of you.

It all becomes a bit clearer to me now what the Buddha taught. I am grateful I have met kind people, really exceptionally wonderful friends who showed me by their good example.

But I still need a lot of practicing. How long can I keep calm for?

I need to be mindful

It is exhausting. Like climbing mountains where you need physical fitness, with your mind, you need emotional fitness, mindfulness. And I need to keep fit, to be prepared for the ups and downs of my emotion. To try to steer clear from defilements - desire, love, hate, prejudice.

How not to be shallow

How indeed.

Is the answer - 'what is shallow, what is not?' ?

Or is it - 'well it doesn't matter if you are or not, who cares?' ?

There are bigger things

A very good lesson from my friends whom I travelled with.

Just had a look at photographs. I can't help but compare what different things we were looking at and what different perspective we were seeing things from. We went on the same trip. What we 'saw' though, are so different.

I was well looked after. Both my friends were so thoughtful about my needs. They were most kind and their kindness unconditional. I saw that for myself. I see that even clearer now through the pictures. To them, how we kept company was probably more important than the holidays themselves whereas I was too busy searching. Searching for fun, excitement, beauty. Things that are not that important after all. Sometimes I didn't even know what I was searching for.

Is it really important to get what one wants? Or is our relationship with others more important?

Breathe

Bumped into an old friend on facebook yesterday. It was a nice surprise. I had not seen or spoken to him in 16 years! Gosh I am ancient. I asked what he had been up to since secondary school and told him a bit about my life. Then I was saying how I wasn't sure about what to do with my life. He said "breathe".

Was that a philosophy, satire or a joke? But it was the best answer I have been given. Everything else really is unimportant.

The northern lights

Only a natural phenomenon, but I was moved. Maybe it was the surrounding but it was truly special. Makes you feel small and unimportant.