See people how you would write them a job reference

Okay, we all have strengths and weaknesses, good points, bad points and inclination. But people improve themselves more by learning from others' positives. Some of us have been hard-wired to judge others by their wrongs so it isn't easy to rewire and try to see people in an objective light and look for the best in them. One technique I have been trying to use is to try to see people how you would write them a job reference.

You would highlight their strengths and make a connection between these and their aspirations. You would be kind enough as not to paint a false rosy picture that creates complacency. You would tactfully give an honest opinion that doesn't necessary make your referee feel insufficient.

Where there are deficiencies that they might benefit from addressing, you would try to offer constructive solicited suggestions or directions.

And then you will learn from their positives and be involved less in conflicts. And if everybody is taught to do so from a young age, then we would have a more agreeable society to live in.